I Was Injured…I’m Sorry!

Following Sunday’s amazing Super Bowl, coupled with a bangin’ BBQ at my casa, Monday would have seemingly been an ideal day to get some stuff up on the Plank, and I had all the intentions in the world of doing so.  

There was one problem though.  Sunday during halftime, me and my brother (we are both 230+lbs for reference sake) were inspired by the football game and decided to do a 40 yard dash competition in my street.  Lots of stretching ensued, especially considering I had been imbimbing alcoholic beverages (it was the Super Bowl for gods sake) before our showdown.  We tried to accomplish this mission at NFL Experience on Thursday night, but it was raining too hard and the NFL didn’t want anyone getting hurt.  

The results were similar to what the NFL was trying to avoid.  The first race went down as a photo finish so we decided to do it one more time.  The second race, about 4 feet from the finish line, my hammy tightened up like nothing I had ever felt in my life, and I went down, I went down hard.  When a 230 lb man running as fast as he can (which isn’t very fast, but sure felt it) and falls, it’s not a pretty site.  I tumbled hard, scratching up my whole body, but the real damage was done to the hammy.   The real irony of it all though, was the proximity to the finish line that my body ended up at.  A good friend of mine even privied me to my closeness after 20 minutes of me laying on the ground, and I reached over and touched it the finish line in epic fashion.    I told them they should have picked me up Byron Leftwich style, and helped me cross.   This is a pic from one of my good friends who was waiting at the finish line, and had even predicted a bad ending to this whole moronic idea.  

Please don't throw up D

Please don't throw up D

D, are you alive?

D, are you alive?

So Close, Yet So Far

So Close, Yet So Far

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been hemmed up for almost 48 hours now, unable to walk hardly at all.  This post is my first trip out of the bed for reasons other than using the restroom.  I will try and get a few Super Bowl thoughts up in the next few hours though.   In the meantime, please feel free to make fun of me as much as possible.

Oh yeah, figured I’d mention to everyone, that I get married in 11 days…AND I CAN’T FREAKING WALK!

Topics: BBQ For Super Bowl, Dustin Staggers Torn Hammy, NFL Experience, Super Bowl

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  • Lizanne

    Wow – talk about making me laugh out loud…..I love the photo of you almost making the finish line but reaching out for it…..in epic fashion.  By the way, when referring to G*d, always capitalize…..just in case he’s watching.

  • Sec119RayJay

    Obviously he wasn’t watching, or he wouldn’t have punished me like that after prepping food for 6 hours for my friends, than waking up and cooking for 14 hours for them.  

  • Lizanne

    this is actually payback for not inviting your mother to your superbowl party – I happen to know first hand she sat alone like a dog watching Sopranos reruns on A&E – not that G*d is punitive or anything…….! :)

  • Lizanne

    now your mother is talking in the third person – which should also be a warning sign that something is clearly wrong with the Universe…..so if G*d is watching – - I hope she (G*d) intervenes quickly and makes the madness stop. I am going to make sure I have a nice cane all picked out for your walk down the aisle….some people would do ANYTHING to get out of dancing publicly in front of 240 strangers! Talk about dramatic!

  • j.kiz

    Now you can use a cane in the wedding and do it pimp style. Just the missing piece to the purple gators.

  • mallory

    at least you won the race. thats all that matters!

  • IWantToBRich-ie

    I think you need to talk to McNamee; maybe see about getting some HGH cream for that thing; speed up the healing process.

  • Mike J

    One never needs a reason or excuse for imbibing alcoholic beverages…..